Okay, people, let’s talk about this.
Oatmeal is awesome. 99% of the time it is my breakfast of choice – it is filling, satisfying, keeps me full well until lunch. Oh, and it’s also delicious. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Unless you hate mushy food (shout out to my roommate), your complaints of “oatmeal is so plain” and “that shit is nasty” are lost on me. You just don’t know how to make it. Pretty much every “healthy living blogger” has posted numerous times about oatmeal, so this is a bit repetitive, BUT in case you’re not in the loop, I just need to get you up to speed.
Here’s how you make oatmeal delicious:
1. Figure out your favorite way to prepare it. more on that below
2. Make some damn oatmeal
3. Top it with delicious toppings. Mix it up. Get creative. Go crazy. Treat yo self.
My top favorite ways to prepare oatmeal:
1. Overnight oats: Soaking oats in liquid (e.g. dairy or non-dairy milk) softens them and requires no cooking. My favorite base recipe is 1/3 C oats, 1/2 T chia seeds (weird hippie food; google it), pinch of salt, teaspoon maple syrup, a couple shakes of cinnamon, and 1/2 C unsweetened vanilla almond milk. This makes the “but I have no time to eat or prepare a healthy breakfast!” excuse complete bullshit (sorry for swearing, mom and dad). Take 10 minutes to prep it at night and grab on your way out the door the next morning. Different people will like different amounts of milk (it affects thickness), so experiment!
2. Hot oat bran. Everyone loves hot rolled oats….except for me. They get all gummy and 99% of the time I just. don’t. like it. SO, I grind them up OR use oat bran and cook it on the stove top when I have the time (a.k.a. on weekends or work from home days). Boil some water or milk, throw in a pinch of salt, sweetener, cinnamon, maybe some mashed ripe banana, and your oats, bring to boil, reduce to simmer, and cook until desired consistency. You can always add more water if it’s too thick.
You have now graduated from Making Oats 101. Congratulations. You can successfully operate a stove and most likely own some measuring cups. Pat yourself on the back.
Next: what to do with those oats after they are done cooking [or soaking] but BEFORE they go into your mouth.
This is crucial. Sometimes things are good plain, yes, I recognize that, but I demand a high level of deliciousness in my breakfast experiences (they have gotten me through over 200 mornings in a cubicle; sometimes it’s the little things), so I go all out with my toppings. Let me share a tip: throw some peanut butter on there. Now it’s a full meal. Like chocolate? mix in some unsweetened cocoa powder. Like berries? Toss ’em on! Like almond joy? Throw in some cocoa powder, top it with some almond butter, make it rain [snow?] coconut all up in there, and bam. deliciousness.
Seriously. If things are delicious and relatively healthy, put them on top of your oatmeal. Bananas (duh). Nuts. Pumpkin pie the day after thanksgiving (MAYBE a little less healthy, but I’m pretty sure God will love you just the same). Go for it.
Being able to pack breakfast for yourself will save you time and money. If you don’t eat breakfast, consider starting. It will boost your metabolism and actually give you energy to do all that work you’ve been putting off. And it will make arriving at your desk in the morning a little more sweet.
Please, sir, may I have some more?